〈動画全文〉小説や映画では主人公は最後には勝利を手にするけれど…

I gave up. I gave up on studying at a university in the UK. I wanted to study genetics or molecular biology, but my academic background in literature didn’t meet the requirements, even though I have experience as a writer in medicine and technology fields.

Then, I discovered science communication courses that I qualified for. And yes, I got an offer!

But I had to give up studying there as well because the Japanese yen, the currency of Japan, became incredibly weak against the British pound. I couldn’t afford the tuition fees and living costs in the UK.

So I gave up. I gave up. Am I a loser?

In novels and films, the main characters always fight against their ambitious dreams or strong enemies for a very long time and accomplish remarkable achievements. They never give up, and eventually, they achieve victory. 

This is the plot of classic success stories. Not only in fiction but also in non-fiction and autobiographies. We consume those stories and they give us ideas like “It is essential not to give up if we want our dreams come true.” Or “Winners are the people who didn’t give up.” 

I know a tennis player who is wishing one day to play at Grand Slam tournaments like Wimbledon. Last time I met him, he was not happy as his dream is too big and he could not win even at the local tournaments in Japan. His prize money wasn’t enough to survive. His income from his sponsors was just 40,000 yen, which doesn’t cover the transportation fees even to go to the next tournament. But he hasn’t given up.

I know a footballer. When he was a teenager, he went all the way to Brazil from Japan on his own to improve his skills, and then he played for a few teams in Europe. But at the age of 23, he decided to retire as he wasn’t accepted by any big club teams.

He was 23. Very young, even as a footballer. But he gave up. Yes, when I heard the news from him, I thought it was too early to give up. But it was what he did, and he was determined, and yes, he knew what he was doing.

He came back to Japan and started working at an IT company, and he excelled in his job. His whole life was devoted to football, so he didn’t study at university or had any other work experiences. But he was earning more money than I, who studied at university. However, he wasn’t satisfied. He quit the job. He gave up again. And he moved abroad, started living and working there, making new connections and developing business ideas, and now he established a company of his own.

It’s not my place to decide who is the winner or successful in their stories. In some people’s eyes, giving up on a dream at the age of 23 means being a quitter or loser, and to some others a person who can keep going regardless of struggle might appear fancy and respectable. But at least in my eyes, the tennis player looked frustrated and dispirited, whereas my former footballer friend looks lively, vibrant and full of life, despite the fact he gave up.

By giving up his initial dream at a relatively early stage in his life, he gained a second chance and a second life. If he had kept pursuing his career as a footballer, he might not have been able to become a businessman. He could have been unemployed at the age of 30 or 40, if he had not given up. And if he had stuck to his initial dream, he could have been frustrated every single day about the fact that he could not reach his goal.

Novels and films always give us the idea that giving up is not a good thing. But is it real, in reality?

Yes, there is no such success story where the main characters do not make an effort or just make a tiny effort and still become successful. If there were a story like that, it wouldn’t be entertaining and would make for boring novels or films, and let’s be real: they wouldn’t earn money. Those are more or less commercial in the end. A success story must succeed as entertainment. Yes, of course, some people indeed become successful by not giving up. But not all of them. In fact, I believe, for most people, it’s not like that. People can become happier by giving up. By giving up, we can be satisfied or find peace. And we can even achieve the initial goal by giving up.

I know a person who wanted to be a filmmaker. Many filmmakers start with independent films. Or others start their career in the film industry as nobodies, workers who don’t even get credit at the end of the film, wishing that one day their name will be written there. 

He thought those paths isn’t promising enough. Indeed, most dreamers end up as nobodies at the end of their career. It’s the reality. He didn’t have money, and budget for independent films either. So, he gave up those paths and became a lawyer. And he started earning money and reached the point of owning his company. By this time, he had grown credibility and made lots of connections with rich people. After becoming successful as a lawyer and businessman, he went back to his original dream, his original passion. With his financial security and connections, he became a filmmaker.

By giving up, you can gain another chance. By giving up, you can choose another path, which might be brighter and better suited for you. And by giving up, you can make your dream come true.

A proverb says, “If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.” Yes, I think this is true. If we try to pursue two goals at the same time or we are distracted by something else, we are unlikely to succeed at either one. However, if the hare you’re chasing is too quick or too far away, I think it’s okay to switch your target to another hare. The goal of catching a hare remains the same.

And there aren’t only two hares in the forest. There are so many other hares, as well as rabbits, deer, boars, squirrels, and foxes. There are also many birds. There’s no need to fixate on a hare. Yes, the proverb might be true – we cannot chase two hares at the same time. But we can be aware of the other hares and animals while chasing one.

And what is the actual reason for you to chase a hare, really? Is it the hare you want? Or is it because you are hungry and want to fill your stomach? Isn’t it that the hare is just a way to feed yourself and your loved ones?

What we call a ‘dream’ or ‘goal’ could be just a ‘way’ or ‘means’ for a bigger desire or purpose.

Why do we want to make our dreams come true? Why do we try hard to achieve our goals? For the title? For fame? To be rich? Well, these could be reasons, solid reasons, in fact, but you know, there are so many people who seem to have everything that life has to offer – title and fame, family and money – but are still unhappy, unsatisfied, feel anxious and insecure.

What we think is a dream or goal might be just a way to a bigger wish, or more fundamental desire, or purpose. You might wish to be a footballer or actress because you think that will make you happy. I don’t think you would want to be a celebrity but unhappy. And when those occupations are a way to make yourself happy, there are other ways to make yourself happy. 

You might wish to be a doctor or lawyer because you want to help others. You might want to be promoted or become an entrepreneur, thinking it leads to satisfaction by proving your ability or allows you to have more financial comfort. But you can achieve those things with other occupations. And it doesn’t have to be an occupation even. You can satisfy yourself or help others by activities like volunteering. You can support your family financially better by investing or doing a side business.

Happiness, satisfaction, comfort, love… those could be the true fundamental wishes, desires, and purposes of a dream or goal, not the dream or goal itself. There are many cases like that, I believe.

This was my case. I was not satisfied with my job. Although I loved my job as a writer in the medical and technology fields, love was not enough when my salary was low despite working extremely hard and long hours. I couldn’t get a better job in Japan because my academic background wasn’t sufficient. I was also unhappy when I was writing for a client and not expressing my true thoughts. I needed to write what my clients wanted, not what I believed. Welcome to the writer’s world.

I was not happy living in Japan either. There are so many great things about Japan, and I feel so privileged to have them, taking them for granted. You know, I love the traditional Japanese arts, and I love Japanese food. But still, I was unhappy for most of my life since childhood, just like the way rich people are not necessarily happy people. Some aspects of Japanese culture and society left me unhappy all my life. Sometimes, I even felt scared by the idea of living there for good. Therefore, I set a goal to study at a university in the UK because it felt like catching two birds with one stone – I could move away from where I was unhappy and study what I wanted. Yes, my goal was was just a means to an end. 

So, I gave up my goal. By doing so, I got another chance. Now, I am living in London as a freelance writer. I get to share my insights through living here, especially through my blogs where I can write my honest thoughts. I also started an online business, selling Japanese handmade crafts using traditional materials such as origami and Mizuhiki strings. Those would probably have been impossible if I were attending school full-time.

Indeed, London life hits me hard sometimes, but I’m happier here. I am happier in London than I was living in Tokyo. Absolutely. And it was what I wanted fundamentally. I gave up, but in the end, it made me happier. I lost the hare I was chasing, but it turned out great in the end. I could get another hare.

For the record, I am not encouraging people to give up. If you think you have a great chance to be successful by continuing, of course, it is better not to give up. But I also believe giving up could be a great option if you are unhappy or frustrated, not knowing where your life is going. So;

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Give up. It’s okay to give up.
If you keep sowing seeds and none of them sprout, give up.
If you keep knocking on a door and it never opens, give up.
If your efforts lead only to frustration and disappointment, give up.
If you try to work things out with them, but you are neglected, give up.
If your love is taken advantage of, give up.
If the dream feels more like a nightmare, give up.
If your heart is consistently broken, you’ve tried enough, so just give up.

It is time to give up. 
Give up the old, and welcome the new.

Give up the dormant seeds to sow new ones that might thrive in your soil.
Give up the closed door and knock on the next one.
Give up the bond that ties you down to embrace one that sets you free.
Give up on them and let others in; allow others have the space they deserve, and you deserve.
Give up the old version of yourself for a new, better, and healthier version of you.

Today, let us give up; the sky is crying. 
But tomorrow might be sunny. 
If it also rains tomorrow, that’s fine. 
For the tomorrow of a tomorrow, the clouds will be gone, and the sun will always be shining there. 

So, today, let us give up.